Separating the Boys from the Men

We live in the 21st century. We pride ourselves on our new, modern ways of thinking, and our abandonment of old, dated stereotypes, and the unfairness and prejudice that accompanies them. Or do we?

Sure, we may say that it's what's on the inside that counts, or that it's more acceptable nowadays for a woman to marry a man smaller than herself. Or we say that the physical doesn't matter when it comes to true love.

Well, to that I say: Yeah, right.

This is a subject that has been on my mind for the past couple of days. We started talking about it in my class about the Literature and Culture of the American West. Naturally, we were talking about cowboys and Indians, and in particular, the novel "Hondo" by Louis L'Amour. My teacher pointed out that there was just sheer manliness that was displayed by Hondo Lane, and that in this day and age, we find that more appealing than we would usually care to admit.

After contemplating this for quite a while, I've come to the sadly shallow realization that this is, indeed true. And I can prove my point. (Accepting, of course, that there are ALWAYS exceptions to every rule. I'm just talking in general here.)

Let's take a look at who we idolize, romantically at least, in this country.

First, let's start with the obvious: cowboys.

Here's a picture of John Wayne, actually in his role as "Hondo", the book I was talking about. John Wayne is one of those classic "real men"- the kind that are independent, and great with a gun. He's the kind of man that you know would definitely protect you.

Every girl loves a cowboy, right? Why is that? Well, he can handle a horse. He looks great in a cowboy hat. He's got that southern hospitality, and he knows how a woman should be treated. He's not afraid to take control, and his whole self is defined by his manhood.

Next, we've got the lethal men.

James Bond. Probably one of the most idolized "real men" that we have. He's smooth with the ladies, but besides that, he can kill just about anybody. He's strong, muscular, and once again- he can and will protect you.

Let's not forget Wesley, aka "The Man In Black" from 'the Princess Bride'. He's swift with his sword, can climb a thousand foot steep cliff, can defeat a giant, plus he's smart to boot. He exudes manliness, in my opinion.

There are so many more. Take a look:

Batman- no explanation needed. Okay, maybe one word: Hot.

 Han Solo... the rough, bad boy that... surprise, surprise, eventually wins the princess' heart.

Even pirates, who plunder and steal and murder in such a crude way- we romanticize them! Because there's something rugged and desperate and completely manly that cries for our attention.

Um, Duh. Helloooo Jason Bourne.

Indiana Jones

And let's not forget our lovely community volunteers:

and let's not forget...

See what I mean? There's something about all of these men, this roughness, brawniness, that attracts us to them. Are we drawn to the wimpy men? No, we are not. We like the ones that we feel can protect us! The ones that we can rely upon to kill the spiders and fight the bad guys. We want men who will be able to carry us across the threshold, plain and simple.

But what is a "real man"? Despite my unabashed shallowness at admitting that I find all of these men insanely attractive, there's a big part of me that recognizes that there's got to be more to it than that. I mean, cause let's face it, I do idolize some men that are not the manliest.

Look at Mr. Darcy. He was a gentleman. He did nothing to earn a living, was not super physically built (despite what the pond scene might indicate), and he just wasn't the manliest of men. And yet, he could dance. And he showed a certain emotional strength, and a strength of character, strength that I think is essential in any man.

And what about Gilbert Blythe? Surely, he wasn't what anyone would call "manly". He was smart, though, and his personality made him more attractive than anything.

And let's not exclude Mr. "Her Love is Like the Wind". I mean, heck- he was a skinny, not very built guy, but his gestures proved him to be quite the man. 

See what I mean? No, you probably don't. That's probably because I'm having a bit of a problem with it myself. 

What is the ideal man? For that matter, what's the ideal woman? I guess I have to say that it's just different for different people. 

I want to make this very clear: I like guys of all different heights, weights, hair color, eye color- you name it. I even like guys with crazily different personalities. But if I'm being honest with myself, I will admit that I, like the rest of the chick flick, hopelessly romantic community of women, do find a certain attractiveness about that ruggedly handsome, intensely strong and protective man. I'd be lying if I said that I didn't! In the past, I've even gone for the guys that were bigger and stronger, more "teddy-bearish" if you will. But yet, I am completely enamored of those men that can dance and sing and write- the intellectuals- despite their different body types. I will swoon and get completely twitterpated at a guy who can play an instrument or dance. Period. He could be the scrawniest thing, but if his voice sounds like butter, he has the potential to make me melt. 

Yes, I realize that ALL of the men that I have used as examples are fictional. Trust me, I know that real life is never this black and white, and no man can be everything. Thank goodness for that, because no woman coud be either. I definitely know that I couldn't. 

I guess what I'm saying is that it's interesting to see how the stereotypes of what defines a "real man " have persisted through the years, even though they are portrayed in different types of characters (the cowboys, the pirates, the firemen, the hit men, the space rangers, etc). 

I guess my final conclusion is that "manliness" or however you want to define it, is in the eye of the beholder. Make no doubt about it- I want a guy who can carry me over the threshold, and who will kill the spiders for me. But I also want a guy who's not afraid to dance with me or sing. 

Because let's face it, these so-called "manly" men? They had definite, big flaws. John Wayne? He pushed women around! Yes, he took control, but come on- try to find some kind of a balance without having to yank the woman to kiss. Try using words instead! :) And Jason Bourne? Well he probably has nightmares and would strangle you in your sleep. Han Solo was moody and Zorro was never home and wasn't the best father half the time. 

No romance or story is ever going to perfect, because perfection doesn't exist in mere mortals. 

If you couldn't tell, this was my desperate attempt to figure out how I actually feel about what we're talking about in class. I don't know if I've succeeded or not. I guess it's just the expressive in me coming out.

And yes, I realize that this blog post may make me seem shallow. But if you know me, you know that this is not the case. I'm merely trying to explore the different stereotypes that we idolize, and I include myself in that because I am that hopeless romantic. I'm that girl that cries at the end of chick flicks because I'm so happy they got together. Because in the end what really matters is that you find someone that you love, and whom you find to be attractive, and whom you find is the "real man" for you. It's about finding the balance. 

Strength manifests itself in many different forms, may it be through muscles, personality, intelligence, humor, emotionally- whatever. 

So yes, I want a strong man. But I guess you could say that "strong" is in the eye of the beholder. And this beholder happens to find strengths in many different shapes and sizes. :D

Thrifting Heaven

I'm just gonna say it. I love thrift shopping.

I know, some of you might be appalled, but I make no apologies.

There's something wonderfully fulfilling about going to a garage sale or a thrift store and seeing a bunch of junk, and after searching (which, let me tell you, takes some serious persistence and talent), find some AWESOME stuff. It's so rewarding! You put in the time and the effort, and your reward = CHEAP stuff that most of the time, no one will ever know is secondhand. Of course, you all will know that my stuff is secondhand now, but I don't care! That's how freaking happy I am about the stuff I found this last week.

First, on like Thursday or Wednesday of this last week, I went to the DI in American Fork, which turned out to be a stupendous idea, because I went to the one in Provo last week and it was wiped out because everybody and their brother are going to DI trying to find stuff to decorate their apartment with as well.

Some of the highlights of my DI trip were:

• shower caddys (metal w/ suction cups, looked almost new), $1 each
• adorable red braided belt, $1.50
• practically new 'Battle of the Sexes' game, $2
• so cute black metal napkin holders, candle holders, and plate hangy thingy (I'll post pictures once I've put them on display, it'll look cuter that way! , $1 each

then i got some awesome picture/ inspirational quote type things:

"the best things in life are not things"

welcome sign for the door

So that were some of my finds at DI. I also hit up the dollar store and got some awesome stuff there, including a rubber ducky keychain that has a light in it and quacks... yeah. :) Plus I got one of those apple cutter thingies, and some fake flowers for the room.

THEN, this morning, I went garage sale-ing with one of my roommates, Amanda. Oh my goodness did we find good deals. I almost peed my pants I was so excited. Here are some of the things I found:

...this was free. yeah. (it's big, too!)

snoopy PJs: $1

so this is one of those scent/wax burning things (I know it works good cause my aunt and Grandma both have one)- you plug it in to the wall and burn the different scented waxes and it smells SO good.

did i mention that it was still in the WRAPPING and that i got it for $3?!?!
here's what it says: "friends are the family you choose for yourself" 

I also found some of those "wonder hangers" that hang down vertically and make for more effective closet space/ hanger hanging. It's pretty sweet.

so it retails at like $9.95- I got mine for $0.75. yep :)

And now for the best deal of all. Drumroll, please...

huge rug for our living room...

...and a matching one for our hallway

Any guesses for the price of both? Whatever you guessed, you'd be wrong, because it was such a STEAL! This is how much I paid for BOTH:

$5!!

Yep, you read that right. They were each priced individually as $5, and I thought that was a good deal. I probably would have payed full price for it, but I talked to the lady and out of nowhere, she was all, "You know, you could have both of them for $5." My jaw dropped to the floor, and I whipped out my money faster than *insert the fastest thing you can think of here*.  Can you see why I'm so excited? Who knows how much they'd be worth if I bought it new from the store?? Yes, there are maybe like 2 minor stains, but hello... Oxyclean?! Both my mom and I swear by that stuff, so all I have to do is put a little elbow grease and Oxyclean on there and we'll be good to go.

See, we went out trying to find a coffee table for our living room, but we haven't been able to find one. However, I think that this rug totally opens up the room and makes it feel homey and spacious. So all in all, today was a GREAT day for garage sale-ing. I Craigslist-ed the night before to find all the good ones, and it totally paid off. :)

So all that's left now is to figure out where I want to hang everything! It'll be a struggle, but hopefully I'll put everything in a good place.

Speaking of interior design, I have a confession to make: I have a new Hulu obsession. I've discovered the design challenge. It's like trading spaces but BETTER because there are a ton of different shows and it's so cool. I even found the "Project Runway" of interior design- it's called DesignStar and I just think it's so cool. It'd have to be pretty cool to keep me from reading Mockingjay when I finally got a copy of it! Haha. 

Let's see. What else? Last night I went and got  a piece of pizza from Slab Pizza, just around the corner, and they had this live Dixieland band playing! It was really sweet. And I'm going swing dancing tonight with one of my roommates! I'm so excited, it's supposed to be a good one.

Also, I think I'm going to join the BYU a capella club. I think it would be fun, like Jazz Choir all over again!

Anyways, today is a great day. I'm so happy about the things that I found! And I'm SO glad that it's Saturday. It's so nice to actually have weekends again after Aspen Grove :). Church tomorrow! :)

Epically Productive Day!

Yesterday was probably the busiest, most productive day I have ever had. Let's start at the beginning, which funnily enough, is the night before.

So it's Sunday night. About 7 o'clock. I've got a ward activity at 9, so I figure I'll just take a little power nap, right?

Fast forward to 9. AM. Wake up. :)

After 14 hours of sleep, I'm feeling as fresh as a daisy and I am ready to go! I had been planning on doing a deep clean of my apartment because it really needed it. Everything was unorganized, and there was just crap everywhere. I knew that I had to tackle it, because it was driving me crazy. I wanted to be able to invite people over without being embarrassed!

So I clean. And I clean and I clean and I clean. I re-organize all of the cabinets. I clean off the oven and the dishwasher and all of the cabinets. I clean the inside and outside of the fridge. I scrub. I move out the kitchen table and chairs, and I get on my hands and knees on the floor and scrub with BLEACH. (Trust me, it needed it.) Let me just show you a picture so you can get an idea. This is when I was halfway done:

I know it doesn't seem like much, but it felt like a HUGE accomplishment. Then we had to go to our storage unit/closet downstairs and take everything out of that and reorganize it because it was crazy. Once that was done, we were FINALLY able to move all of the crap out of the living room!

Then we started moving furniture. For example, we have this little TV-holder thingy, but we don't have a TV, nor are we planning on getting one, so it looks a tad awkward. So... we moved it! :) then we played around with the curtains- We pinned them back so that the room would look more open, and we put up some curtains in the kitchen.

(this is our kitchen), or part of it at least! I originally had the curtains on the table cause I thought they were a table runner, but it turns out they were curtains, so we decided to put them to good use!

Here's our living room- I know it looks kind of empty, and it is, but the space is marvelous compared to the cramped crowded mess it was before! I'm going to garage sale-ing soon to try to find a coffee table and wall decor for cheap.

Also, one of my roommates and I are toying with the idea of painting our hideous red wall a light green. Then we could make curtains to match, cause we think that the red is a little overbearing.

However, for now- it works!

Haha! I bet you thought that I was done with my productive day. (And why wouldn't you? It was a crazy awesome productive day!) But oh no. I am not done. Nope.

I, Kelly Rogers, successfully cooked my first (super [okay semi] healthy) meal all by myself!

I know. It sounds like a dorky statement. But for me, it was a really big deal. Especially because this meal required me to multi task. And I think I did it quite successfully, I must say.

So. I started out making instant brown rice (followed the instructions, made on the stove). Then I put some oil in a pan and put some frozen vegetables in there and started cooking them. I poured some seasoning salt and some regular salt on there too. (Btw, here's where I think I accidentally turned my meal into semi- healthy... I think I put too much oil in the pan, and that's why it tasted so good. Oops.) Here's the tricky part: I used my new George Foreman grill for the first time to cook my chicken. I put it in the microwave to defrost first, and then I put some seasoning salt on the chicken and stuck it on the grill. However, I couldn't find my packet thingy that told me how long it was supposed to be on the grill and at what temperature, so I might have accidentally overcooked it. Just a little. But it still tasted fine! It was just a bit crunchy on the outside. :) Then I cut up some strawberries, and poured myself some water and enjoyed my meal!

It tasted SO good! I was so proud of myself! I mean, it took about 15/20 minutes to prepare, but the feeling of sitting down and knowing that I had cooked the entire thing all by myself made it taste better, I think. I mean, I could taste the effort that I put into making it!

With all the cooking shows that I watch (Master Chef, Hell's Kitchen, etc.), I always thought that cooking was kind of an unattainable skill for me. Mostly because I've had lots of failures with cooking in the past (see Hard Boiled Eggs blog). But this one success has given me a tiny boost of confidence! I'm not going to starve at college! I am going to be healthy, and I am going to like it! :)

After I made my meal, I went to FHE, which was fun, then came back and finished cleaning the living room and my room.

See what I mean? It was a TOTALLY productive day!

(Now I just have to do my homework today that I was supposed to do yesterday!) Haha. :)

Hard Not-So-Boiled Eggs

I have successfully completed my first week of my sophomore year of college, thank you very much. It's actually been a pretty awesome week! Lemme do a quick lil' recap hur. :)

Monday: Wake up. Make egg sandwich for breakfast. Attempt to organize my mess of a room, mostly unsuccessfully. Oh well. Go shopping with Grandma, frantically trying to get it done in time for me to be at class at 1. Go to the wrong building for first class. Oops. It's okay, I make it to my other class on time. Get labeled "Texas Girl" by professor on day 1. Met and talked to someone I didn't know. :) Frozen yogurt with Jess after classes. Leftovers from Sunday night at Grandma's for dinner. Family night with my new ward. Meet new, nice people. Go home, put up more decorations in my room. Go to sleep.

Tuesday: Wake up. Make egg sandwich for breakfast, with some fruit. Tackle (successfully) the taming of my room... finally, it is clean and organized. (Although still lacking a desk... I'm still working on that.) Go to classes, including my first choir class that I've taken in over a year! :) Met/talked to someone I didn't know before. Went running at Smith Fieldhouse with Brittany. Come home, go to bed.

Wednesday: Wake up. (I know, it's a crazy bad habit, this waking up of mine.) French toast for breakfast and for dinner. (There's only so much you can do with bread, eggs and milk- aka, the bare necessities that I had to eat, since grocery shopping had not yet occurred). Go to the wrong class (it was only one classroom over from my other one!) Awkward moment. Met someone new. I'm sure something else fun happened, I just can't remember.

Thursday: REALLY tired by eggs at this point, but what can you do? Go to classes, meet new people. Fun day. Go to Institute at night. Free food, met 2 new people! :)

Friday: classes, then my roommate Cristy was nice enough to take me grocery shopping! Yay! Bonfire at night, met lots of new people, had lots of fun, and got tons of smoke stuck in my lungs. Still recovering.

Saturday: shopping for cleaning supplies and such in the morning. BYU FOOTBALL BABY!!! (we won... and my voice suffered the consequences). Went to a game night at my friend Jess's place and had SO much fun there. Came home at like 2:30 in the morning. Yeah.

Which brings us to... today! Where I will be having church, then go to a couple ward functions and what not.

So here are a few things that I didn't mention in my recap: I'm taking ASL 101 (sign language) and I actually really like it! I was afraid that I was going to be bad at it, but it's becoming easier every day, and I feel like I'm learning a lot! Also, I really like my roommates. I totally lucked out, because all of them are normal, awesome, super nice people! As you may have noticed, I've met a lot of new people this week. It's one of my goals. I've been trying to make an effort to be more open to new experiences and new people, and so far it's worked out really great! I'm really loving this new social aspect of life :)

I'm also embarking on a quest. It's a quest to beautify my apartment. It's not super clean, and the walls are very bare. So, true to my Aspen Grove mode that I cannot escape, I made a "deep clean" list. It's like a page and a half long, and it's very specific and detailed and when I'm done with it, my apartment is going to look like a completely different place. Once it's clean, I'm going to find a way to decorate it, and THEN I'll be able to invite people over.

And last but not least, I have discovered a fatal flaw in myself: I do not possess the ability to hard boil eggs. (In my defense, I hear that it's more difficult in Utah because of the altitude, but I have a feeling that it wouldn't be that much different if I did it in Texas.) So, I bought a carton of eggs to hard boil. I talked to several people and asked them how to do it, and I looked it up on a website. So I followed the instructions, and then... DISASTER STRUCK. :( I went to peel the shells off, and much to my dismay, I was not rewarded for my efforts. It wasn't runny, but it definitely wasn't hard. Sadly, I was forced to throw all of them away, along with my hopes and dreams of ever being a good cook. (I've been watching Master Chef lately, it's been putting crazy ideas into my head).

Anyways. Maybe someday I'll be able to do it right. But until that day comes, I guess I'm just stuck with my feelings of failure as a egg-boiler.

 But, let's end the blog on a high note, shall we?

GOOOO COUGS!!!!!!!! :)