Spider Attack

I had a very traumatic experience today. It's actually quite a miracle that I am still alive.

So there I was, just driving home from work. (A short distance, mind you. Less than a mile.) I had just turned left out of the parking lot onto the road when all of a sudden, from out of nowhere, I see this GIANT BLACK SPIDER (the size of a quarter at least) dangling midair, coming straight for me! Literally, it was swinging right toward me!!! I tried to blow it away, but then it just came right back.

Of course, the whole time this is happening, I'm screaming at the top of my lungs and not paying attention to driving. Like, at all. So there I am, screaming, swerving all over the place. It's a lovely picture, I know.

Finally, I swat at it, and it goes who-knows-where. All I know is it isn't floating in the air attacking me anymore and I quickly put my attention on the road. Amazingly enough, I have not crashed my car and I am not dead.

The next two minutes it takes for me to get home, I spend feeling like there are spiders crawling all over me.

Now, I ask you... How did that spider get in my car?!?! I did not have any windows open. My guess is that the little devil climbed in through the exhaust pipe. Or the air-conditioner-thingy. (Can't you tell I'm an expert at cars??)

Wow. I'm exhausted. Almost getting killed by a spider takes a lot out of a person.

Making fun of movies

I am a movie buff, to say the least. It doesn't really take much to please me-- if there's action, humor, romance, whatever, I'm happy. I love quoting movies and I love watching them over and over.

But once in a while, it's just a little too easy to make fun of them. And so I do.

~scene from Saturday night~

Enter roommate, AMANDA.

Amanda: What are you watching?

Me: Raise Your Voice.

Amanda: Oh, I LOVE THIS MOVIE!

Amanda sits down on the couch to watch the movie.

Movie scene: "I wasn't kissing her, she was kissing me!"

Amanda: How long were they even broken up for?

Me: Dude, I don't even know. Like two days!

*insert making fun of the timeline for the rest of the movie.

So, in response to that lovely conversation and observations, I went through and composed a timeline of the movie, Raise Your Voice. (Disclaimer: I absolutely adore this movie. Even though I'm making fun of it, I still love it.)

Raise Your Voice Timeline

Night before camp begins: Meet Jay.

Day 1: Orientation, first class, minor interaction w/ Jay at lunch.

Day 2: Class, late for voice lesson, discovers amazing musical talent of piano girl.

Day 3: Eats lunch w/ Kiwi. Runs into Jay outside of church; “lucky penny” incident, listen to local musicians. Jay runs off.

Day 4: Still struggling in class. Sees video, runs away. Jay chases her, they go to restaurant and spill feelings. Walk on beach, admission of “like” for each other.

Day 5: First music-writing sesh.

Day 6: Now a full-blown couple.

*Note: This is after only 3 interactions.

Day 7: Date night! Double-dating it up, singing in fountains and crap. Kiss on the rooftop.

Day 8: Ah, the honeymoon phase. Holding hands in hallways, cute kiss on cheek, etc. One more music-writing session. Go to open mic night.

Day 9: THE KISS WITH ROBIN! She sees…. Duh. Dramatic ripping out of pages from music diary.

Day 10: Contemplative stroll on the boardwalk, complete with sunset/silhouette. Jay attempts to make contact.

Day 11: Goes to church and prays.

Day 12: Both try to write music but struggle (Even though they've been writing music by themselves their WHOLE LIVES) . Jay gets drunk that night.

“I WASN’T KISSING HER, SHE WAS KISSING ME!”

“Oh no, he didn’t even try to go there... please.”

(Stays up through the night and everything is okay in the morning, all because he got drunk!)

Day 13: New writing session together for the song. (Which we're supposed to believe is the OLD song with new lyrics even though it's a completely different song ALL TOGETHER).

Day 14: One more writing session.

Day 15: Performance in which only 6 students actually perform. Sing one last song about saying goodbye.

Happy ending in which we imagine them coming back to camp next summer and being together... even though she's the new Robin, she just doesn't know it yet....

STATS

Total days dating: 3

Total days broken up: 2

Oh, the timeline of movies. Let's also not forget that the camp was supposed to be for 3 weeks. (She was really only there for two.)

Maybe this is a little too dramatic. Maybe it's too specific. You might be saying, "Oh, but Kelly, they couldn't show EVERY day." That's not the point. It seemed like no time at all passed between their getting together/breaking up/ getting back together.

I know that every movie can't be like 24, where everything happens in real time. That's okay with me. But let's be a little bit more realistic so that the viewer can actually buy the story line.

Can I get an "AMEN"?